OSV News photo/courtesy Jean-Baptiste DelerueRecently, a friend told me something that was true and good, but difficult for me to hear.
While I wanted to hear it — wanted to conform myself to the will of God for that particular situation — I was having a hard time. So while trying to compose myself (basically trying not to cry), a memory came to mind from when I was a little girl. I got up and went for a walk while reflecting on what God wanted to tell me through that memory.
I was 8 years old and preparing for my First Communion. Besides preparing my heart to receive Holy Communion for the first time, I was also excited about what I would wear for that special occasion. I wanted to have a beautiful white dress like a princess, a pretty veil and pretty sandals. My sister was also having her First Communion with me, and her Godmother offered to make our dresses since she was a very skilled seamstress. My mom gladly accepted it.
My mom also bought a new pair of white sandals for both of us. These were high-quality sandals, the kind that would last for years, since she hoped we could continue to use them afterward, not only for that special occasion.
The day arrived when we got those gifts: a white dress, a small hair bow, and a new pair of sandals — all very well prepared and delivered to the two of us. I was very disappointed. I didn’t like the dress because it looked too simple to me. The hair bow was pretty, but I wanted a veil. The sandals were expensive, the kind that would last forever, but I wanted something more girly with small high heels. So I was sad and upset.
Thank God, the day of my First Communion was very beautiful and joyful with all my family and friends, so I quickly forgot about the disappointment and sadness.
This was such a good memory and a good lesson for me regarding the will of God. Many times in life, we don’t really want what God is offering to us. We forget that He sees the big picture and knows what is best for us and for those around us. He knows what we will need for eternity, and not just for the present moment.
My mom knew that my family could not afford to get me the dress and shoes of a princess. She knew that those things should not have been my focus for First Communion Day. And she knew that those things would not last long at all. She knew me better than I knew myself. God also knows me better than I know myself. Even though I am an adult now, God still knows more than I, and He knows what is best for my community and for me! However, I often find myself still thinking that my ideas are the best and suggesting to God what is best for me.
It’s at those times that this memory helps me to surrender to God’s will and trust that He will lead everything according to His plan. As we prepare for Christmas, let us remember to let God’s Word have the last say, as Mary did.
Joelma Regis is the associate director of the Office of Vocations.