Eight things that make for a great Catholic dad

(OSV News) Being a Catholic dad is both a great privilege and a big responsibility. Along with their mothers, we fathers, grandfathers and godfathers have been entrusted to raise our kids to know and love God and to prepare them for lives as Catholic men and women. Odds are, we’re good at it, we enjoy it, and we all deserve a pat on the back for the work we do raising our children in the faith.

In this list, you will undoubtedly see some things suggested that you’re already doing. But you may also see some that serve as reminders of how to be a better and more effective Catholic dad.

As we celebrate Father’s Day, pick one or two of the following practices that will make a big difference for your family and start doing them.

1. Keep holy the Lord’s Day — and all those other days, too

Fatherhood is the ultimate exercise in getting priorities straight. In too many households, mom is the “keeper of the faith.” She’s often the one who herds the family into the car on Sunday morning for Mass. But this cannot be good enough for us. Our kids are watching, and they will do what we do.

They’re watching if we’re ambivalent about getting to Mass. They’re watching if we’re checking the time during the homily, calculating whether or not we’ll make it home before kickoff. But the good news is, they’re also watching when we do things right!

My dad can’t carry a tune in a bucket, but he sings in full voice every Sunday; our kids notice when we have our priorities straight — when we sing, pray and actively participate with our faith communities.

2. Teach your children faith

If we want our children to have faith in God, we’ll teach them to believe in things they cannot experience with their five natural senses. Talking about molecules, germs or black holes is a good start. We all accept that there are everyday realities we’ll never see firsthand, but they are real. This is, of course, the foundation for teaching them our faith.

We need to nurture our own faith in order to be able to teach it — whether that means regular prayer and Scripture study, spiritual reading or active involvement at the parishes. Faith is learned best by example, and it requires genuine belief. It requires surrender. And the single best way to raise children who have unshakable faith in God is to teach them that there are things they can trust and believe in unconditionally — like their dads.

3. Don’t forget forgiveness

The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a uniquely Catholic ritual. Few other traditions require that sinners confess sins aloud. In this way, Catholicism teaches accountability as well as reminding us of God’s bottomless well of forgiveness — great lessons to teach our kids. But it’s easy to leave those values at the confessional.

As Catholic fathers, we have an added responsibility. The accountability our faith has taught us requires us to admit to our children when we are wrong, ask their forgiveness when we mess up, and show them that we and their mothers forgive and ask forgiveness of each other all the time. This reminds them — as God reminds us — that mistakes are allowed.

They are fully human and fully expected as part of our faith journey.

4. Give and let give

An old expression advises, “When there’s a piano to be moved, don’t reach for the stool.” Generosity certainly isn’t a value unique to Catholicism. But making it a non-negotiable part of our families’ lives — no matter what our circumstances — is a part of our faith.

Again, this is the behavior we, as dads, can and must model if we expect our children to learn compassion. Let your kids put the envelope in the church collection basket on Sunday. When family, friends, or charitable organizations ask for your help, identify what you enjoy or what you’re best at and pitch in. Let your children see you giving, and talk with them about why you give and why giving is important.

5. Play and have fun

My wife, a Catholic theologian, has a favorite quote from Rabbi David Wolpe’s book “The Healer of Shattered Hearts”: “It doesn’t have to be somber to be sacred.” Many of us mistakenly expect children to apply adult maturity to our faith, but one way to reveal Catholicism’s beauty is by letting kids experience it on their own terms.

Using play, story and song to unfold Scripture and tradition for the youngest of our flock is the foundation of children’s Liturgy of the Word, vacation Bible school and religious education. When my wife and I read Bible stories to our kids, we do character voices. Driving home from Mass, we re-sing the closing song (the upbeat ones, anyway). If we truly believe we are created in God’s image, then surely laughter and lightheartedness can enrich our faith as well.

6. Get caught praying

Don’t let the only time the kids hear their dad talk about God be when His name is (accidentally, hopefully) taken in vain or when that three-word phrase becomes a blurred-word exclamation when someone cuts you off on the freeway. Get “caught” praying and pray with your children — over meals, at bedtime, anytime. Praying with someone is a pretty intimate act. In our house, we have a little outline we like to follow. We always start with prayers of gratitude, thanking God for our many blessings.

Then, we move to asking for blessings for people we know and love or for people who might need God’s help. Finally, we can get into the nitty-gritty “gimmes”: praying for good weather for field trips or for the strength and wisdom to do well in our work or at school. Doing so teaches our kids that we’re all in an ongoing relationship and conversation with God. And that the conversation requires them to talk as well as to listen.

7. Be “Mr. Doesn’t-Know-It-All”

The sky is blue. “Why?” Because of the sun. “Why?” Because when short-spectrum light waves from the sun enter our atmosphere, they strike air molecules and our eyes perceive the effect as blue. “Why?” Sigh. We’ve all played the “Why?” game. Dads often put a lot of pressure on themselves not to get stumped.

But questions of faith are common (and often come out of the blue): “Why do we die?” ... “What’s a soul?” ... “How does that Trinity thing work?” Unfortunately, satisfying answers aren’t always at the ready. “Go ask your mother” is only acceptable once — twice if it’s Father’s Day. “I don’t know” is a legitimate answer, but the real grace comes in what we say next: “Let’s look it up together.” There is something special about finding answers with our children. Those are the lessons that stick.

8. Traditionnnnn! Tradition!

My mother collected more than 100 statues of the Madonna, and her devotion had a huge impact on me, my four siblings and scores of others she met throughout her life. After she died, most of those statues went back to the people who gave them to her as reminders of my mother’s belief in the strength of Mary’s holy intercession.

When I tell that story to non-Catholics, however, it never has the impact I look for. Let’s face it, like Tevye in “Fiddler on the Roof,” we as Catholics hold on to much “tradition” that other religions just don’t “get.” Ashes on our foreheads. The Hail Mary. The communion of saints. Rosaries. Novenas. Holy water.

These “sacramentals” are what make us uniquely Catholic. They give comfort, grow faith and are very much worth preserving. Passing on these rituals to our children — not just by rote, but by practice — teaches them that being Catholic means that they are part of deep and long-held traditions. And it teaches them that, as Catholics, they will never be alone. †

Cory Busse writes for OSV News from Minnesota.

(Photo by Jed Owen/Unsplash)